Warrior's Cross Read online

  Julian had wanted to beg him. Beg him. The concept literally took Cameron’s breath away. For his own reasons, Julian wanted him. Badly. And in no way would Cameron put any sort of stop to it.

  Cameron took a long, shaky breath. He could very easily love this man. That was far scarier than any gun or ambiguous job.

  Julian was frowning and rubbing at his chest when he stepped back out into the outer room, wearing one of Cameron’s T-shirts and a pair of sweats that didn’t quite reach his ankles.

  “How are you?” he asked Cameron abruptly.

  Cameron looked up from the heated lasagna he was pulling out of the oven when Julian spoke from across the room. He really had no idea how to answer that question, given the last half-hour. He settled on the easier answer. “Hungry.” He nodded down to the hot dish. “This just needs to set up some, and I’ll get some French bread and salad out.”

  Julian came closer carefully. “It smells wonderful.”

  Nodding, Cameron unwrapped the bread with only slightly shaky hands and turned back around to look at Julian and grasp for something to say. “Wine?” he asked after his eyes cast over the newly opened bottle.

  Julian looked down at the bottle and smirked. “No, thank you,” he responded. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice low and calm once more. “I can go,” he offered.

  Cameron glanced at him and just as quickly looked away. “I just don’t know what to say,” he said. “No one’s ever said something like that to me before. I don’t want you to go,” he managed to get out as he stared at the wine bottle. “Why did you come back?” he asked starkly.

  “I promised I would,” Julian answered in surprise. “I intended to get here earlier, but I tend to drive faster than I can walk.”

  “I didn’t expect to see you again,” Cameron told him. “Like I said earlier, you’d never spoken much to me at all.”

  “You didn’t think I’d come back?” Julian asked in a hurt voice.

  “I don’t know you,” Cameron answered defensively. “Not really. And for the most part, anybody I get involved with isn’t interested in sticking around,” he added.

  Julian stared at him in open shock. “Then you’ve been fucking the wrong people,” he finally said with absolute certainty.

  Cameron’s head snapped up, and he boggled. “I have?” he said, voice cracking a little.

  “Of course,” Julian responded with a nod of his head. “Someone would have to be out of their mind not to come back to you. I walked through a blizzard to get here.”

  Cameron met Julian’s eyes. “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” he said in quiet amazement. “You make me feel…”

  Julian raised an eyebrow and rubbed his chest distractedly, waiting.

  “Special,” Cameron supplied, barely audible. “Wanted.”

  Julian grinned widely. “Good,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “And confused,” Cameron added with a sigh of resignation. “Why is that good? Strokes your ego?”

  Julian pressed his hand over his heart as if he’d been hurt. “Ouch,” he responded with a slight huff. “No,” he added as he leaned his elbows on the counter. “Because that’s exactly how I want you feeling.”

  “Oh.” Cameron just looked at him in wonder. “I just might have to kiss you now,” he warned.

  “Well then, just let me move closer,” Julian drawled cheekily as he glided around the counter and stopped next to Cameron. He wrapped an arm around Cameron’s waist carefully and leaned down to give him a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

  As soon as Julian came close, Cameron lost his hold on his worries, and they melted into the background. Instead, he turned into the heat of the other man’s body, lightly bumping Julian’s lips against his again. He drew a shaking breath and tilted his head back to kiss Julian gently.

  “Maybe I need some more wine,” Cameron whispered.

  “No, you don’t,” Julian assured him, tugging him closer and kissing him hungrily, cradling his head in one large hand as he did so.

  It was easy to relax against Julian’s chest and be kissed, and Cameron reveled in it, feeling the heat spark between them just like it had the night before. Just like that morning. Just like he hoped, at that very moment, it would for more time to come.

  Julian hummed contentedly and smiled as he pulled back from the kiss. “Thank you for letting me stay,” he whispered against Cameron’s lips.

  “Any time,” Cameron murmured without thinking, raising his eyes to meet Julian’s. Somehow, being in Julian’s arms soothed the nerves and worry of the unknown.

  “I could grow used to this,” Julian said.

  Cameron let his eyes move over Julian’s face. “Okay,” he said softly.

  “Okay?” Julian echoed.

  Cameron nodded solemnly. “I’d like it,” he clarified, “if you grew used to this.” He held his breath as he waited for Julian to answer.

  Julian smiled slowly—a real, honest smile that seemed to melt away his hardened exterior. “Good,” he responded as he slid his hands into the rear pockets of Cameron’s jeans possessively.

  Cameron released his breath and smiled as he gulped for another one. He shifted and hooked his wrists behind Julian’s neck. “You might change your mind once you get to know me. I’m awfully boring.”

  “So am I,” Julian retorted with a spark of mischief in his eyes.

  “I really don’t see how that’s possible,” Cameron said dryly. “The man who would get on his knees in the middle of a four-star restaurant to beg a waiter to go home with him?”

  “That’s not interesting. It’s just being smitten,” Julian corrected.

  “Smitten? With me?” Cameron asked with a disbelieving laugh.

  “You think I get on my knees for just anyone?” Julian asked with another playful sparkle in his eyes, as if sharing a private joke with himself.

  “Had I not seen it with my own eyes, I would bet you got down on your knees for no one,” Cameron said with absolute surety.

  Julian lifted an eyebrow. “Well. You were mistaken,” he chastised gently. His eyes flicked around the kitchen. “What shall we do for the few minutes it takes for dinner to finish?” he asked softly.

  Both Cameron’s brows rose as he considered the question and grasped for some sort of answer. “Roast chestnuts?” he threw out.

  “Is that what you call them?” Julian asked innocently as he turned and looked at the herd of tussling puppies. Cameron’s jaw dropped, and he rapped Julian on the chest with his knuckles. Julian gasped and pressed his hand to his sore chest, backing away. “Ow,” he protested, though he still laughed.

  Cameron turned up his nose. “Love me, love my dogs,” he said snootily, trying to make a joke.

  Julian tried to suppress a smile as he looked at the puppies again. “Well,” he sighed with regret. “I suppose I could learn.”

  Cameron wondered about that answer. Learn to love the dogs? Or learn to love him? He edged slightly closer to the other man again. It was a weakness of Cameron’s, something the majority of men he met didn’t like: he thrived on physical contact. He loved the simplicity of touching. He craved it even more than the thrill of hot sex. So he stole the opportunity to lean his temple against Julian’s shoulder for just a moment and press his nose to the warm skin of Julian’s throat.

  Julian wound his arms around him, and he dropped his chin and kissed Cameron impulsively before he let loose a long, growling sigh. Cameron stiffened slightly and pulled back, thinking Julian was reluctantly humoring his stolen moment of cuddling.

  “What?”

  “I wish I’d known I’d be here for Christmas,” Julian answered while tightening his arms around Cameron’s waist to stop him from moving away. “I would have… gotten something,” he finished uncertainly.

  “Gotten something? Like a present?” Cameron asked.

  “Yeah,” Julian answered with a nod, and his cheeks flushed.

  Cameron gazed at him for a lo
ng moment. “You’re more than enough of a present,” he finally said.

  Julian raised a wry eyebrow. “You got coal in your stocking as a kid, didn’t you?” he asked flatly.

  Cameron thumped Julian’s chest again. “You’ve already told me how you’d embarrass yourself in front of an entire restaurant to try to get me to go home with you, and you think you can come up with a better present than that?”

  “I can’t help it if your standards are low.” Julian laughed as he pulled Cameron even closer and trapped his arms to protect his sore chest.

  “See if you get laid tonight!” Cameron told him with a huff.

  “Is that a challenge?” Julian asked as interest sparked in his dark eyes.

  Cameron narrowed his eyes. “Challenge? Are you gonna get on your knees again?”

  “If that’s what I need to do,” Julian purred as he kissed gently behind Cameron’s ear, holding him as if they were slow-dancing.

  “And the challenge would be resisting you?” Cameron asked, sighing softly as Julian nuzzled the tender skin.

  Julian hummed in the affirmative and nipped at Cameron’s neck.

  Cameron moaned and tilted his head back. “For how long?” he asked hoarsely. His jeans were already getting tight across the front, damn it.

  “You said tonight,” Julian reminded in a murmur as he slid his hands under Cameron’s shirt.

  Cameron whined softly. “Did I?”

  Julian lifted his head and sniffed the air pointedly. “Smells like dinner,” he announced with an evil grin as he began to pull away.

  Cameron growled and yanked him close. “One more kiss,” he demanded. Julian grinned just before it was snuffed out by the meeting of their lips.

  “All right,” Cameron said reluctantly as he finally let Julian go. “Dinner.” Then he got a crafty look in his eyes. “Can’t have you weak and hungry before bedtime.”

  “That’s right.” Julian grinned happily as he rubbed his hands together in exaggerated anticipation.

  Cameron shook his head slowly. “You just amaze me, you know that? Sometimes I don’t know what to say.”

  Julian watched him with an unreadable expression before lowering his head slightly.

  Using hot pads, Cameron carefully lifted the lasagna from the stovetop and set it on the trivet.

  Julian chewed on his bottom lip, for once not making eye contact as he frowned thoughtfully. “I suppose it’s hard to find common ground with a man you don’t know,” he offered.

  Cameron nodded slowly. “Is there… is there something beyond the fact that you liked to watch me?”

  Julian raised his head and met Cameron’s eyes again. “At first?” he asked. “No. You were fun to look at,” he admitted with a smile that said he might still be fun to look at.

  Cameron’s eyebrow jumped, although Julian had already said something along those lines earlier. “And then?” he prodded.

  “You weren’t afraid of me,” Julian said promptly.

  Confusion crossed Cameron’s face. “Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?”

  Julian shrugged slightly. “Some people are,” he admitted.

  Cameron considered that, tipping his head as he recalled Julian dressed all in black and towering over him. And the gun. “I guess I can see that,” he admitted. “You could look sort of intimidating, if I’d met you somewhere else, maybe. Hadn’t occurred to me, though. Not in the restaurant. I mean, in general, like leaving with a stranger after admitting no one was waiting for me, and then the gun, yeah. That’s scary. But not you specifically.”

  Julian smiled weakly and nodded.

  Concerned, Cameron set down the spatula and leaned one elbow on the counter, peering at Julian. “It hurts you,” he said in realization.

  “What does?” Julian asked as he unconsciously placed his hand on his chest again.

  “People being afraid of you. Maybe even… lovers being afraid of you?” Cameron asked softly.

  Julian raised his eyes and met Cameron’s with what might have been hints of surprise and sadness. They were gone just as quickly as they had come. “Maybe,” he acknowledged at a whisper.

  “Have any of them not been afraid of you?” Cameron asked, meaning the lovers. His heart hurt for him.

  Julian studied him searchingly for a long moment. “Can I include you in that answer?”

  Cameron swallowed. “I am a person,” he said.

  Julian smiled slightly and nodded. “You are,” he affirmed as he continued to look into Cameron’s eyes. “Then just the one,” he added in answer to the question.

  “Person?”

  “Lover,” Julian corrected.

  Cameron blinked, amazed he’d pried that answer out of Julian, but the implication really bothered him. “I’m your only lover who’s not been afraid of you?”

  Julian nodded silently and shrugged. Cameron frowned in sympathy. How could anyone be afraid of a man who had turned out to be so gentle? Was Cameron just missing something? Was there another part of Julian he hadn’t yet seen? Was it the gun people couldn’t get past? He couldn’t believe that.

  “How do you stand it?” he whispered. “Don’t you have anyone?”

  Julian gave his head a slight jerk in answer and smiled. “A few people.”

  Cameron relaxed a bit and nodded. “Good,” he said as he stepped over to the refrigerator to pull out a bowl of tossed salad and a bottle of dressing. “Everyone should have someone.”

  Julian gave a small smile and shrugged in embarrassment.

  Cameron frowned. “What about the restaurant?”

  “I go there to see Blake, not eat the food,” Julian admitted. “And then it became to see you. Because I don’t like the cranky bastard all that much,” he added with a laugh.

  Cameron’s jaw dropped. “You don’t like the food? But why eat? Why not just see Blake and leave?”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” Julian pointed out. “It’s….” He trailed off and shrugged. “The scenery is much better.”

  Cameron colored a little and smiled shyly. “How about dinner now?” he asked as he slid the bottle and bowl onto the bar.

  “Sounds good,” Julian agreed.

  Cameron nodded and turned away to start scooping thick, sauce-dripping pieces onto cobalt-blue stoneware plates. “So, now what?” he asked. He had no idea where they would go from here, besides to bed.

  “Well. Logic tells us that perhaps we need to get to know one another,” Julian pointed out as he watched Cameron work on the lasagna.

  Cameron’s lips twitched. “Yeah, that would make sense,” he commented. He pushed one filled plate toward Julian. “We’ve already skipped ahead several steps to the sex.”

  “Better to get that out of the way first to make sure we’re not wasting our time,” Julian deadpanned as he moved to stand behind Cameron. He tugged at Cameron’s hip to turn him around and then stepped back to put a little space between them and held out his hand. “Julian Cross,” he offered with a twitch of his lips.

  Cameron reached out automatically and slid their hands together, stifling a chuckle. “Cameron Jacobs,” he answered. His lips curled into a true smile. “Pleased to meet you.”

  “Oh, no, no,” Julian murmured in a low voice as he held onto Cameron’s hand and slid his other hand up Cameron’s arm. “The pleasure’s all mine, I assure you,” he drawled with a smirk.

  Cameron laughed softly. “Debatable,” he replied. He looked down at the lasagna and glanced back to Julian. “Um. Would you like to have dinner with me? Tonight?” he managed to get out, the oddness of the fact he was asking at all, much less in these circumstances, making him nervous once more.

  Julian looked down at the lasagna and then back up at Cameron with a brilliant smile. “As long as it comes with dessert.”

  Cameron raised an exaggerated eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t like desserts. To my knowledge, you’ve only ever ordered one.”

  “Ah, but it was a good one,” Julian affirmed wit
h a wicked smile.

  Cameron popped open what must have been the twentieth bottle of champagne for the night. It was a little past ten, and the restaurant was in full swing, filled to capacity. New Year’s Eve was always a crazy, busy night. He’d been going full steam since before noon. He broke free of the table of twelve he was helping and headed to the service area while all his tables were safely occupied with the festivities.